Everywhere but the room
by Niss Trah
Summary: After the events of Divide and Conquer, Daniel helps his friends bring some deeper emotions to light. J/D friendship, D/S friendship, D/T friendship, and of course...Sam/Jack ship!
1. Chapter 1

_Everywhere but the room_

_A tag to season 4's Divide and Conquer_

**A/N: Season 4 is my favorite season and I've always found myself wondering about the conversations we missed between episodes. So I added this onto the end of Divide and Conquer, because I don't think the events that transpired could really be pushed away that easily. This will be four chapters. **

**wackyjacqs: You have my eternal gratitude for being my beta. And for your patience in actually receiving one of my stories **

Chapter 1

As he absently took another bite of his slice of pumpkin pie, Jack O'Neill's thoughts wandered back to the infirmary, where he knew Carter was probably saying her final goodbye to Martouf. Jack swallowed his bite of pie and set the rest back on his plate in dejection. He sighed deeply and shook his head at the chaotic day he was having. Thinking of Carter wasn't helping re-establish his equilibrium.

"Damn Tok'ra" he mumbled to himself. He grabbed the fork he had originally ignored and tapped at his pie, making indentations. His mind continued to wander, eventually focusing on that look on Carter's face when he had uttered those words. The ones he couldn't take back. Because I care about her, a LOT more than I'm supposed to. Carter's eyes had closed in what looked like anguish and his gut had clenched tightly in that moment. When she had approached the chair after his test, their eyes had met and he saw everything. Everything they had worked so hard to push away and trample out of existence. Her glassy eyes told him what her words later confirmed. She felt the same way. He forced away the instant joyous reaction he felt coursing through his veins at that thought and once again, pushed his feelings for a certain blonde astrophysicist into the deepest part of himself that he could find.

Jack tried to bring up the latest episode of the Simpson's in his mind, but Marge kept morphing into Sam Carter. Then his mind wandered even further and he himself became Homer, drinking beer, eating donuts and generally acting like a dolt. Jack didn't mind though, because in that world, he came home to a hot wife and crazy kids. He couldn't help but wonder, not for the first time, what his life could be like if he retired again. He could grab Sa….someone special and kiss her senseless from here to the moon. Well, further if he could still make use of the Stargate….

"Jack." He was snapped out of his ridiculous musings by Daniel's voice. Jack looked up and saw the archeologist standing near the other chair at his table, a cup of coffee in one hand and a notebook in the other, and his glasses slightly askew on his face. Jack snorted as he was suddenly struck by a vision of Daniel as Milhouse. He found himself wondering how hard it would be to "accidentally" color Daniel's hair blue. When Daniel raised his eyebrows at the snort, Jack just shook his head and waved him into the empty chair with his now pumpkin covered fork. As Daniel slid into the chair, a glop of pumpkin landed on his notebook.

"JACK!" Daniel snapped in frustration, and then rolled his eyes when Jack simply shrugged.

"Daniel-"

"Jack-"

"Dan….."

"AHHHH! Okay, stop that. " Daniel cut off their familiar back-and-forth and wiped the pumpkin off of his notebook with Jack's napkin. As he placed it back near Jack's plate, he raised his eyebrows and gestured to the pie.

"What did that pie ever do to you?"

"What are you blathering about?" Jack asked him in confusion. When Daniel pointed at his plate, Jack looked down and saw that he had apparently turned the rest of his slice into mush. He hadn't realized he had been trying to make a pumpkin smoothie while his thoughts wandered. He looked back up at Daniel and saw something in his friend's face that looked surprisingly like concern. He wasn't sure why Daniel was concerned about him. It was just a piece of pie.

"Oh…well, I was…thinking. Guess my mind….wandered" Jack waved his hand around in the air helplessly to try and make his point and then dropped it awkwardly to the table when he realized that he didn't know what his point was.

"YOU, were thinking? About what?" Daniel leaned forward as if Jack were about to tell him about some deep and meaningful revelation he'd had. Why the younger man even expected something like that, Jack had no idea, but he decided to run with it. He looked around the commissary, making sure no one was listening. Considering only one other table had people at it, he figured they were safe. He leaned forward toward Daniel and kept his voice low.

"Well, remember those armbands we wore? I decided that I liked them so much that I am going to sign up for this experiment that the Air Force is doing on officers. They have this new drug that's like…Steroids….ON Steroids. It's supposed to create superhuman strength and speed. I'd have to leave the SGC for several months of course, but General Hammond assures me that if the drug is successful on me, I would still be a hot commodity here." He leaned back and struggled to keep a straight face as Daniel gaped at him in astonishment. How the hell Daniel was still so gullible after more than 4 years, he didn't know, but Jack would take advantage of it for as long as he could.

"Jack! That's insane! Are you serious? That can't be safe. What are the side effects? Is there a risk to you?" Jack watched in amusement as Daniel's forehead furrowed and his hands waved wildly with each new thought. He just loved flustering the man. It was so easy. As he watched his friend get more and more agitated, Jack decided to have a heart and put the man out of his misery.

"Whoa! Danny-boy, relax! I'm just messin' with ya."

"What? You're not going to be experimented on?"

"Nope."

So, why'd you say all that?"

"To see if you'd buy it."

Daniel sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Very funny Jack. I'll remember this the next time you need help catching up with your reports."

"Totally worth it Space Monkey!" Jack grinned devishly at his friend and watched as Daniel simply shook his head in defeat.

"So, what were you REALLY thinking about before I came in? I mean, your pie looks like that stuff we ate in Handante now." Both men shivered in revulsion at that reminder.

"Oh ya know, not much…just….ah" Jack floundered for an explanation about his wayward thoughts, refusing to allow himself to tell Daniel that he had been daydreaming about he and Carter as Homer and Marge Simpson. "The Simpsons episode I watched a few nights ago. That Burns really reminds me of someone. I just can't place it."

"Yeah right Jack. The look on your face when I came in could not have been related to the Simpsons."

"I was too thinking about the Simpsons! Can we move on?" Jack questioned Daniel in exasperation, refusing to continue on about his previous musings.

"Ah…sure" Daniel relented and drank from his mug. "So, how are you? It's been quite a day."

"I'm good Danny. Why do you ask?" Jack tried not to sound defensive with his answer, but wasn't sure he was successful.

"Well, I mean, you almost went into a sort of induced coma, then decided to possibly have your brain scrambled, then you admitted your feelings for Sam, then we watched a friend of ours die. It's been one of those days. I just wonder how you are with all of it." Daniel rattled off quickly all that had happened that day and kind of mumbled the part about Sam, but Jack had still caught it, and since Daniel hadn't been in the room when the Za'tarc test was happening, he knew someone had blabbed. Jack sighed in resignation and prepared himself for what was sure to be a serious conversation with Daniel. Jack knew Daniel wouldn't let it go, so he was going to suck it up and deal with it in the moment.

"Who told you?" He stared Daniel down and just kept staring when Daniel tried to act like he didn't know what Jack meant, but his head turned down and he sheepishly looked back up at Jack.

"Janet" Daniel answered softly "but I don't think she told me to be a gossip. She's concerned about Sam with the whole Martouf thing, and I think she just wanted me to know, in case Sam needed someone to talk to that isn't…military…you know? Besides Jack, it's not like I didn't suspect."

Jack ran a hand over his face and sighed…loudly.

"Daniel…I'm fine, really. And I know you want to have a heart to heart and discuss my feelings, but that just can't happen. I realize that I can no longer deny that Carter and I…have….a thing…" Jack moved his hand around in the air, trying to emphasize the 'thing' and he knew it wasn't enough… "but we decided to leave it in that room, and that's where it's staying. So…just…try not to think about it huh? Trust me; it's less of a headache."

"What do you mean, you've left it in that room? You aren't going to talk about it, or do anything? Don't you want to…I mean…does she want…you're not going to change your relationship?" Daniel awkwardly and in one breath asked him. He then leaned forward again and opened his mouth, but Jack beat him to it.

"Look Daniel, we're not going to change anything. It's against the regs, and besides, you wanna know what happens to women who become involved with a superior officer? They get booted Daniel. And even if they didn't kick her out, she'd never be taken seriously again. You want that to happen? The Air Force may like to say it's not sexist, but women are the ones who are punished for stuff like this, so I hope you'll keep this to yourself." Jack began to stand, wanting to be done with the conversation, but something Daniel had said suddenly clicked. He sat back down and pierced Daniel with his gaze.

"What do you mean you suspected?" Daniel seemed dazed and hesitated until he understood what Jack meant and smiled sheepishly.

"Oh…ah you know, all those missions off world. Teal'c and I kind of watched you and Sam…err…you know, develop…well…"

"Careful Daniel" Jack growled in warning before Daniel could finish his fractured answer.

"Oh umm…well we sort of figured out the 'thing' you have with Sam. I think I started noticing after we rescued you two from Antarctica. She looked at you differently after that. Like…softer somehow. I don't know. And you started sitting closer off world and when we would split up, you started pairing with her more. And Janet figured it out when you were trapped on Edora and Sam was…well…she was pretty distraught. We've never really talked about it much, but we all knew." Daniel informed Jack. "I think that Teal'c and I only noticed because of how well we know the two of you though, and Janet because she's pretty much Sam's best friend, so I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think anyone else has noticed anything."

"Oh…well. You ahh…haven't mentioned this to the General, have you?" Jack asked in apprehension.

"No, of course not. It was never relevant anyway. You guys have never let it get in the way." Daniel smiled at Jack and the colonel was encouraged. He had been tempted to panic when Daniel began this conversation, but it had gone surprisingly well. He still hated that anyone knew, but Daniel was being downright blasé about it, so Jack figured he could let it go. He stood and motioned for Daniel to walk with him. As they walked out of the commissary into the almost deserted hallway, Daniel broached another question.

"So, you were really going to let them do that procedure on your brain. What if it had made you kill yourself like Astor?"

"Well Daniel, I guess that would have sucked" Jack told him, a little annoyed that Daniel was questioning his choice. "Besides, like I said before, they could have dug around in my brain and helped Carter. That would have been worth it Daniel." He stopped walking when he noticed that his younger friend was no longer next to him. Jack looked back and saw Daniel looking at him in bemusement.

"What!" Jack walked back to Daniel and waited impatiently.

"Jack, you LOVE her?!" Daniel half asked, half stated, his eyes wide and his whole face grinning.

"Ah…Daniel, we talked about this. You said you already knew and now we leave it alone. Got it?!" He started to turn back down the hallway, but Daniel's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"No Jack, I said we suspected you guys had…feelings…I didn't know you're IN LOVE with her." Daniel's smile faded and Jack watched as his friend realized the implications of him loving Carter. "And you guys can't be…I mean you won't know if….are you going to wait until….I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything Daniel. Let's just leave it alone huh?" Jack did his best to stare Daniel down again, hoping his friend would know that thinking and worrying about his feelings for Carter were too painful. As long as he could ignore it, it wouldn't be as hard to only be colleagues. Daniel seemed to come to an understanding about it, because he just nodded, slightly squeezed Jack's shoulder and resumed walking. Jack jogged a few steps to catch up and tried to overcome the slight tension in the air.

"Ya know, I really WAS thinking about the Simpsons. In fact, you were there Space Monkey. Have you ever considered blue hair?"

A/N: Thanks for reading! Coming up in chapter 2: Daniel talks with Sam


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for reading, reviewing, following this story so far. It makes me so happy to have people enjoying this story. This is my first try at multiple chapters, so I hope I can continue giving you a reason to give such nice reviews! Enjoy!

Once again, thanks to wackyjacqs for her beta work! Your comments/idea's/suggestions are all so helpful :)

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Chapter 2

Three hours later, after Daniel had, very reluctantly, played several games of Ping Pong with Jack, he was finally on his way back to his office. He chuckled as he remembered Jack's perturbed look when Daniel had won three of the games. Jack tended to assume that since Daniel was "a geek" that he was incapable of playing any sport, athletic or otherwise. Daniel was no Forrest Gump when it came to Ping Pong, but he could definitely hold his own. Then he really started to laugh as he pictured Jack as Lieutenant Dan to his Forrest Gump. He was sure Jack wouldn't like that comparison and contemplated telling him anyway. Though Jack's mood had lightened while they played, Daniel knew his friend was still aching from his recent revelation. Maybe Daniel could start annoying him to get his mind off of Sam.

Daniel was starting to think that maybe Jack was rubbing off on him. He had starting connecting his life to movies (THANK GOD it wasn't the Simpsons), and sometimes got pleasure from annoying Jack. He was still chuckling about Ping Pong and Lieutenant Dan when a body smashed into his own.

"Oof…." He was about to voice his annoyance when he saw the person that had run into him. As he grabbed Sam's shoulders to steady her, he gasped when he saw her red, puffy eyes. She looked like hell, and it broke Daniel's heart. Sam had become like a sister to him, and when she hurt, he hurt.

"You okay?" Daniel asked her softly.

"Hey Daniel…yeah, ah…I'm fine. I just, you know…" She huffed in exasperation and roughly brushed a chunk of hair out of her face "it's been a long day." She tried to smile at Daniel, but he saw the pain in her eyes. He looked around and realized that Sam must have been returning to her lab, because it was only a few feet from them. He gently took her arm and led her into the room and quietly shut the door.

Daniel watched as Sam absently walked around, nudging things into place, punching a button here and there and generally avoiding his gaze. After four years though, he knew that Sam would need to talk, so he just took a seat on a nearby stool and waited patiently. For a few minutes, Sam continued to fidget nervously, but finally let out a deep sigh and sat at her table.

"Have you ever had one of those days Daniel? The ones that just eat at you from the inside out?" Sam looked at him helplessly and his heart broke even more for her. He was also glad, in a strange way that he could empathize.

"Yeah…I really do get that feeling Sam. I'm sorry today is that day for you." Daniel hoped it would comfort his friend that he could understand her pain.

"Thanks Daniel….I've actually been considering just wiping today from existence, but it would be a butt load of paper work." Daniel snorted in amusement, assuming that Sam was trying to feel better by making a joke, but when he met her eyes, he realized she might be serious. The woman had, after all, been known to rewrite the laws of physics to save their sorry asses at times.

"Ahhh… can you DO that?" He asked her hesitantly, partly afraid of her answer.

"No. I doubt it…well…maybe…I have some theories." He watched as Sam shrugged noncommittally and he gaped at her, trying to process. Sometimes, Sam Carter still amazed him with her utter brilliance. He shook himself out of his musings and scooted his stool closer to hers, taking her hands in his.

"Sam, if you want to talk, I'm here." Daniel watched as Sam's eyes seemed to lighten and she gave him a watery smile. She opened her mouth to speak, but she seemed hesitant so he gave her hands a gentle squeeze and silently encouraged her to get it out.

"Sorry Daniel, I know I'm acting a little…not me…but I just keep seeing myself hitting Martouf with that zat, and it's getting all mixed up in my mind with memories of Jolinar's. Sometimes, I can't tell which memories are mine and which are hers. So it's kind of making me feel like I killed my lover…" Sam trailed off and let go of his hands. Daniel watched as her eyes watered, but something in her expression gave him the impression that she had just lied to him. Well, maybe not lied really, but that she was telling him what she thought he wanted to hear. And Daniel was unsure why Sam would do that.

"Sam" he began in trepidation, having no clue how she would react "is this really about Martouf?" Daniel nodded in confirmation of his suspicions when Sam's shoulders dropped and she let her head fall to her chest. Her answer was quiet and it surprised him.

"No. I mean, I wish with everything in me that Martouf were still here, and that I hadn't….that he asked me to…I killed him Daniel, so yeah it is about him, but I have other…stuff on my mind." He knew from her fractured explanation that she was talking about Jack, he just didn't think she would admit it and wasn't sure if she wanted to have that conversation. He decided to go with her guilt about Martouf.

"Sam, Martouf wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He knew what was happening and that he was a threat to every person in that room. I know it'll be hard, but try not to beat yourself up. You did the right thing. And if you need me, like I said, I'm here." Daniel captured her hands in his again and was glad when she squeezed lightly, looking up at him. He could see the thanks in her eyes and not just for his words of support, but for ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room.

"A little better?"

"Yeah, thanks." Sam took a deep breath and wiped her face before facing him with what looked like determination. "Let's talk about something else, okay?" When Daniel nodded in encouragement, she cocked her head to the side and asked him curiously "What have you been up to for the last several hours? Teal'c told me you had gone to get a snack, but that was a while ago."

Daniel rolled his eyes and filled her in, making sure to keep his time with Jack light and humorous.

"Jack forced me to play way too many games of Ping Pong. I didn't really mind at first, but then I won a few games and he acted like a baby and told me I should dye my hair blue so I could look like Milhouse." Daniel huffed in annoyance at his friend's ridiculous obsession with all things Simpsons.

He looked at Sam in mortification when she nodded and then started giggling.

"SAM! That is not funny!"

"Yes it is…" She gasped and got a hold of her laughter. "Sorry Daniel, I don't exactly like the Simpsons, but he's made us watch it enough that I can sort of picture you as Milhouse. You do look a little like a cartoon when your glasses are on your face crooked, and your hair is all crazy after you fall asleep at your desk." She looked at him sheepishly, but he could see the twinkle in her eyes and was inwardly grinning that he had gotten laughter out of her. He spoke again without thinking and was soon cursing himself for ruining the moment.

"God Sam, no wonder you two like each other so much." As soon as the words left his mouth and he saw panic in her eyes, he closed his in defeat, knowing he had just said the WRONG thing.

"Daniel!" Sam's voice was barely a whisper as he opened his eyes to see her gaping at him in astonishment. Daniel spoke quickly, trying to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry; I really should not have brought that up. Yes, I know what happened. Janet thought you may need someone to talk to outside the military and Teal'c is worried. I know you probably can't tell, but he really is. I also know that you decided to leave the whole thing alone, so we don't have to talk about it if you really don't want to." Daniel said it all in a rush, similar to the way he told Jack that he knew and watched Sam's face go through about a dozen emotions in just a few seconds. It looked as though she was going to be angry, which was confirmed when she spoke.

"You're right, you shouldn't have brought it up. How could she tell you?" Sam stood from her stool and picked up what looked to be some kind of scanner as she spoke, just to slam it back on the table with her final words. She then paced around the room and when he didn't speak, she whirled around to face him and her face crumpled before his eyes. She spoke in a calmer voice and he was shocked to hear her normally dulcet tones, quaking with emotion.

"Daniel? Did you talk to him? Is he…he's okay right? Did he…what did he say? I mean, what did he tell you, is he mad at me?" She looked up at him for a moment, but to Daniel's surprise, she couldn't seem to hold his gaze and looked away again. He thought for a moment and decided to play it somewhat safe, not wanting to upset her too much after the debacle with Martouf.

"You know, pretty much just that you guys decided to leave it in that room…because of regs. He seems okay with that though. A little…bummed…maybe, but he really is fine. And no, of course he's not mad at you. Are you mad at him?" Daniel thought it was odd that she thought Jack would be angry, but tried to remain calm with her.

"NO! Of course not! Why would I be mad?" She looked at him and he asked her a similar question.

"Why would HE be mad Sam? Isn't it kind of the same thing, since you both said…well…things?"

"Oh, well yeah, I guess it is." She was finally looking at him instead of her teary blue eyes darting around the room. Daniel decided that since they were already talking about it, he would just go for gold and get it over with.

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"Umm…sure."

"Do you love Jack?" Daniel asked his question in a low voice and waited with baited breath for her answer. Sam sucked in a breath and looked at him in surprise. He watched as tears again coursed down her face. She opened her mouth, but closed it again and let out her breath through pursed lips.

"Yes." She let out a half sob, half chuckle as his eyes widened at her answer.

"That's ahh…more than I thought you would admit." He smiled gently at her, hoping this wouldn't cause more heartache. Sam nodded at him. She was quiet for several long moments, but when she spoke again, it proved to Daniel the depth of what his two friends were going through.

"Sometimes Daniel, it makes me so…joyous. But then I remember who we are…and it hurts, more than anything has ever hurt me before." Daniel felt his own cheeks become wet with tears with her words. He wished he could do something about the impossible situation Sam and Jack were in. He had no idea how to ease Sam's pain, and said the only thing he could, but he said it from every fiber of his being.

"I'm sorry Sam." She was quiet again and seemed to be composing herself. She hugged Daniel and when she let go, kissed his cheek and expressed her gratitude.

"Thanks Daniel. I'm glad you know. You're my family, you know? It was hard, not having someone to talk to."

"You're my family too, Sam. Anytime you need to talk, just let me know. We can keep it between the two of us." He patted her shoulder and she smiled sadly.

"I just wish…I wish I could tell him everything, you know? How much he means…I just wish I could REALLY say it, instead of a vague confession." She shook off her melancholy and stood, wiping away the remnants of tears again and turned to face him again. "I know I can't right now though, so let's just move on."

"We'll get through it Sam, okay?" At her nod, Daniel smiled and stood up. "Okay, let's go get that snack I never had. Siler said there's lots of Jell-O today." He raised his eyebrows, hoping she'd take the bait. When she laughed and followed him to the door, his heart leapt, knowing she would eventually be okay. Daniel could still see the pain in her eyes and even though her smile was masking the broken heart of a wonderful woman, he could see that she had begun to heal and he vowed to himself that he would do whatever he could to make it easier on her. He followed her out of the room, seeing that she was waiting and glad to still see her smiling. And then he rolled his eyes at her next comment.

"Jell-O makes everything better. C'mon Milhouse."

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To be continued in Chapter 3: Teal'c and Daniel have a discussion.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hey everyone! Thanks again for reading. It makes me downright giddy to see so many tuning into this story! And thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I hope with this chapter, I was able to capture Teal'c…he's tough to write!

**wackyjacqs,** Thanks again for all your input! This chapter was especially in need of your expertise!

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**Everywhere but the room**

**Chapter 3 **

Teal'c stood at the perimeter of the camp his team had set up that day and scanned the area. Stargate Command had sent a MALP through the Stargate and detected evidence of human life and vast amounts of Naquadah.

When they had arrived on this planet, they had discovered no life and Major Carter was having difficulties finding more than trace amounts of the sought after mineral. O'Neill was of course, already frustrated with the inactivity and was annoyed at Daniel Jackson's request to stay overnight so that he was able to study the ruins of an ancient civilization in more depth. Though they had made contact with General Hammond and received permission to stay, O'Neill made his distaste evident and had been voicing it for the past several hours. Teal'c was finally afforded silence when O'Neill stalked away to retrieve Daniel. It had become dark and the archeologist often did not notice fading light when engrossed in his studies.

Teal'c once again dutifully scanned the area and when he detected nothing out of the ordinary, he focused his attentions on Carter. She, like Daniel, was very engrossed in her study. She had collected several samples and tested them and was now entering information into her computer. Teal'c was not always sure what she was doing with the tests and data, but he enjoyed watching her. She was an intelligent woman and he was glad to call her a friend. He had been concerned for her in the last few days. While it had been only nine days since Martouf had been killed at Stargate Command and Carter and O'Neill had been forced to reveal their feelings for one another, General Hammond had placed them back on duty and this was their first mission. Carter seemed to be doing better, but Teal'c could see that she was still struggling. He only offered silent support though, as he knew that only time passing would help her wounds heal.

Major Carter's head shifted toward the trees when a branch snapped and the voices of O'Neill and Daniel Jackson could be heard coming toward them. Teal'c observed a strange look pass over her face when they heard a burst of gruff laughter from O'Neill before the two men walked into the camp. She quickly schooled her features and Teal'c put the look out of his mind to contemplate at a later date. He turned to his other teammates and discovered the reason for O'Neill's laughter. It seemed that an indigenous bird had chosen Daniel's shoulder for the spot to relieve itself. Teal'c watched with a concealed smirk as the archeologist grumbled to himself as he glared at O'Neill and cleaned off his clothing.

"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson. I am pleased you have returned. Shall we begin preparations for our evening meal?" Teal'c was hopeful as his stomach had been speaking to him of nourishment for some time. When everyone agreed, he quickly and efficiently made the fire and took out their supplies to make dinner. As they chatted around the fire and ate, Teal'c noticed that though they both joined in the conversation and seemed to be enjoying it, Major Carter and O'Neill were avoiding one another's gaze, and spoke no direct words to the other. He glanced at Daniel and noticed that his friend was also observing the interactions, even as he kept the conversation going. Teal'c did not believe that speaking of the problem would be helpful, so he filed the information away and decided to bring it up only if it did not resolve or became a problem. After dinner, Carter said her goodnights and went into the tent she would share with Teal'c that night. Teal'c quietly observed O'Neill as he watched their female teammate walk away, a look of contemplation on his face before he seemed to shake it off and asked Teal'c about Ry'ac.

O'Neill seemed to be in a more jovial mood and Teal'c wondered if it was because Carter had left the group to retire or if Daniel had spoken to him. Though the two men often had differing opinions and argued regularly, Teal'c knew there was a deep respect for one another. Teal'c felt he should simply take advantage of O'Neill's pleasant mood instead of wondering about the cause and spoke softly with O'Neill of Ry'ac, who had recently sent a message updating Teal'c on his latest adventures. Daniel finished clearing away the remains of their meal and joined in the conversation. Teal'c told them of Ry'ac's continuing confusion of the baseball mitt O'Neill had gifted him, and was pleased when this made both men laugh. O'Neill soon stood though and retrieved his weapon, glancing at his watch as he did so.

"Well boys, it's about that time. I'm gonna do a perimeter check and start my watch." His teammates nodded and watched as he walked back into the trees, whistling a nameless tune. Teal'c turned to Daniel and spoke his earlier thoughts.

"I am pleased that O'Neill seems to be in a more lighthearted mood. I do not know if this was your doing Daniel Jackson, but if it is, I would like to express my gratitude." He nodded his head in respect to his friend and saw a smile form on the other man's face.

"He was annoying you a bit hmm…?" Teal'c hesitated in answering, but decided Daniel knew him well enough to know the truth.

"Indeed."

"Well, you know, we…talked…a bit anyway. It wasn't much. I think he's just having a hard time with the whole….thing." Daniel Jackson waved his arm in the direction of the tents and Teal'c immediately knew he was referring to Major Carter and nodded his comprehension and his friend continued. "It's like they both believe that this is the only choice, but they both hate it. I wish I could make it possible for them to have more."

"As do I Daniel Jackson. However, this is their decision, and we must support them. O'Neill and Major Carter are both accomplished warriors of great skill. I can not fault them for placing our war with the Goa'uld before their heart's desires. Great sacrifices must sometimes be made in the face of adversity." Teal'c watched as his friend contemplated the words he had said. He knew it was, at times, difficult for the younger man to understand the ways of war. He was a scientist and a peaceful man. Teal'c was aware that there was a large part of Daniel Jackson's heart that simply wanted Major Carter and O'Neill to be free to love one another, but he knew that the man was also beginning to accept that soldiers often ignored their hearts for the greater good. Teal'c waited patiently until Daniel Jackson once again spoke.

"I know Teal'c. And I get it…it's just hard to see them both hurting for the same reason. You know?"

"Indeed I do Daniel Jackson." He spoke with quiet affirmation of the pain their friends were feeling. The two men sat in silence after that and Teal'c watched the firelight. He was about to tell Daniel he would be in his tent as he needed to Kelno'reem and with Major Carter already resting, it would be a good time to achieve this state. As he rose though, Teal'c heard a quiet chuckle come from the other man and he turned back and quirked an eyebrow in curiosity. Daniel looked up at him and smiled.

"Sorry Teal'c, I just…do you think I look like Milhouse?" Teal'c looked at his friend in confusion and held back a smile when it was explained. "You know, the kid on the Simpsons with blue hair. He's in love with Homer's daughter…ummm….Lisa. Jack thinks I should dye my hair blue to look like him." Teal'c placed his hands behind his back and regarded his friend thoughtfully.

"Though you bare a slight resemblance in both appearance and temperament to Milhouse, I do not believe it would be advantageous for you to model your hairstyle after his." Daniel Jackson seemed to look at him thoughtfully for several moments before speaking.

"Umm ok. Well, thanks…I think…Teal'c…? Which Simpsons character do you see yourself as?"

Teal'c raised both of his eyebrows at the audacity of his friend.

"Daniel Jackson, that question is irrelevant as no computer could accurately depict a Jaffa as a Simpsons character. They would simply place me in the role of myself as they did with Michael Jordan in the children's film Space Jam." Teal'c nodded briefly to the incredulous look on his friend's face and proceeded to his tent. He hesitated when he heard a deep sigh coming from the fire. He turned back and watched as Daniel contemplated the flames and Teal'c knew the younger man's thoughts had returned to the other half of their team. He called out softly, but so that his voice carried to Daniel.

"Daniel Jackson." The man's head turned toward him expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"I am confident that both O'Neill and Major Carter will emerge on the other side of this development stronger than before. They are both honorable people and have a bond that has grown and deepened through many trials. Do not lose heart." Teal'c knew Daniel was surprised at his words, but he also received a smile of thanks and a nod of agreement before his friend silently turned back to the flames. Teal'c did not often voice his thoughts on matters of the heart, but he was aware that Daniel often needed to discuss and ponder on situations such as this and hoped that his words had helped the other man come to terms with the conflicted relationship of O'Neill and Carter. Teal'c silently entered his tent, glad to see Major Carter sleeping peacefully. As he began his meditations, he chuckled to himself as he heard the quiet voice of O'Neill returning as he spoke to Daniel, and was optimistic about the team's ability to overcome these last awkward days and mold once again into the family they had become.

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**Thanks for reading :) Coming up in the final chapter…..Jack and Sam finally talk!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry this last chapter took so long. I had a hard time deciding how Sam and Jack's conversation should go. I hope you enjoy the result, because I hemmed and hawed about it for weeks!

**wackyjacqs:** Thanks once again for all your lovely beta help! I doubt I would have finished this without you! I hope you like the final version of chapter 4!

**Chapter 4 **

Sam gulped down the last of her coffee and threw her tin mug into the camping gear. Her watch was just about done as she could see the small, alien sun rising through the breaks in the trees. They had risen early for breakfast as it quickly got hot on this planet and she knew her team would be returning to camp within the next half hour and that they would be leaving soon. She dumped the rest of their cooking water onto the fire and kicked some dirt over the remaining embers. Teal'c and Daniel had gone again to the ruins so Daniel could get some final information to take back and the Colonel was doing one last perimeter check, but she was pretty sure he just needed to do something. She knew the Colonel had been bored the last couple of days, but Sam was glad this first mission back after the whole Martouf/Za'tarc fiasco seemed to be remaining a simple research mission. She'd had enough excitement and drama to last for years and the quiet mission was helping her restore her peace of mind. She had been having nightmares of Martouf's death this last week and last night was the first time she'd slept without the dreams. She hadn't even heard Teal'c enter the tent or leave for his watch during the night. She felt more refreshed than she had in weeks and was glad the weather on this planet seemed to be cooperating.

Daniel was having a ball studying the nearby ruins and she was pretty sure Teal'c was enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of this planet. The Colonel however, was decidedly agitated, although he had seemed to cheer up a bit the night before, after he'd fetched Daniel for dinner. Sam figured Daniel must have hounded him about his cantankerous mood, as he'd been a complete bear when they discovered nothing more than the ruins and faint traces of Naquadah. Sam was pretty sure she knew what was bothering him, but knew she was the wrong person to approach him, so she was glad Daniel had seemingly been able to help.

Sam sighed as that brought her thoughts back to the Za'tarc tests. The reason for the Colonel's frustration was also the reason she NEEDED to restore her peace of mind. Which was a little less peaceful now that she was thinking about her feelings for Jack O'Neill. Sam had known, the moment she approached that chair to tell the Colonel why they weren't Za'tarc's that she was in trouble. Not that she thought she'd be reprimanded for it, but because the two of them admitting their feelings somehow made it real, and would make it harder to work with him on a daily basis. She couldn't get Daniel's question out of her mind. When he'd asked her if she loved Jack, she had responded instinctively, but Sam found herself wishing she hadn't told him. She had been truthful when she'd told him that loving Jack O'Neill made her joyful and sad at the same time, but what she hadn't told Daniel was that her feelings also terrified her. Sam couldn't recall a time when she'd been more deeply entrenched in another person. Sometimes, she couldn't remember NOT loving Jack. She also knew though, that if they ever gave in, she could get lost in him very easily. And that petrified her. She didn't like how much she needed to be around him to feel happy. It was disconcerting and slightly surreal. She had found herself wishing several times over the last week that the whole thing had never happened. If Anise had never run those damn tests with the armbands…

"Stupid Tok'ra" she muttered to herself, at the same time feeling bad for bashing them. She knew a lot of the Tok'ra were very caring and truly believed in their alliance, like her dad, but some of them, especially Anise/Freya, just grated on her nerves. Thinking of her dad brought her to a sudden and horrific realization. She was sure that Anise/Freya had reported back to the Tok'ra on what had happened at the SGC. Which wasn't unexpected considering one of their own had died that day, but something Sam hadn't considered until now, was that her dad had probably heard the whole report and knew what had been said by his daughter and Jack O'Neill. She found herself hoping that he wouldn't be able to visit anytime soon, but knew, with her luck and her father's ridiculous need to poke his nose into her life and try to control it, that he would most likely show up soon. She groaned out loud and dropped her head into her hands, only to snap it back up at the sound of a voice.

"Geez Carter, I know it's boring here, but is it really THAT bad?" She watched in morbid fascination as Jack O'Neill sank down onto another log at looked at her in amusement. She had never heard his footsteps and scolded herself for becoming so distracted while on duty. That he was the object of her thoughts made her extremely uncomfortable.

"Sir!" her voice almost squeaked and she nervously cleared her throat and tried again. "Sorry Sir, I didn't realize you were back." She sighed to herself at how nervous sounding her comment came out and was glad when he seemed to either not notice, or ignore it.

"Yeah, well, there's nothin' here….so then I went to check on Danny boy, but Teal'c was watching over him and seemed real…serene... I guess, and Daniel was yammering on about the culture that built those ruins…I just thought I'd come back and help you finishing packing up." She smiled slightly at his explanation, reading between the lines that he was annoyed by Daniel's chattering and even more annoyed that Teal'c WASN'T annoyed.

"Well Sir, Daniel is pretty excited and I think Teal'c likes this planet for whatever reason." She tried to sound bright, but knew it came out superficial and exactly what it was…covering up her extreme feelings of awkwardness.

"Yeah, Teal'c does seem to like this joint…weird. It's just…TREES!" the Colonel swept his arm across the area, gesturing to the copious amounts of trees. He grinned when she choked back a chuckle and she was glad to see that they could be somewhat normal. She relaxed a bit and internally sighed in relief that he was acting perfectly himself. Sam watched in horror though, as his expression suddenly changed and as she was looking into his dark eyes, she saw pain. He seemed to realize that things were far from normal between them and he dropped his head and scrubbed his hand over his face, and dragged it wearily through his already messy hair. Before she could stop herself, she was asking him a question.

"Sir? Are ahh…are you okay?" Sam asked it hesitantly, both desperately needing the answer and intensely hoping he wouldn't answer. His head came up again and he regarded her with tired eyes. She regretted asking, not ready to face the emotion in his eyes. She tensed when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just ahh…didn't sleep well. Daniel was dreaming and muttering something about Teal'c and Bugs Bunny and a basketball game in space. It was annoying." The Colonel snagged a stray twig off the ground and began breaking it into smaller and smaller pieces. She looked at him in confusion, but when he didn't look up, she figured she'd have to ask. And she didn't mind in the least, seeing as how it took the conversation away from the rather large elephant in the room.

"Umm…Bugs Bunny Sir? As in 'What's up Doc'?" She smiled at the snort that came from the man and was glad when he finally looked at her again.

"S'what it sounded like. Who knows, it's Daniel. Weird is hardwired into him." They laughed together for a moment but when they fell quiet and remained that way, Sam was certain the silence was going to deafen her. She missed the days when she could sit in peaceful silence with Jack O'Neill and not feel like insects were crawling across her skin. She was about to comment on the weather when he spoke.

"Did you sleep alright Carter? I ahh.. I mean, I know things have been…well they've sucked. So, ahh…you're doing okay with…err… Martouf and all…? Jack trailed of and she was shocked that he had brought it up. She figured they would just ignore the whole Za'tarc situation and trample on over it like it never happened. She answered hesitantly, making sure to keep it about Martouf, dreading any mention of the other reason for their discomfort.

"Yeah Sir, I'm fine. I was having dreams sometimes, but it's getting better. I know it was the right thing to do, so now I guess I just miss him, you know?" Sam tried to sound like she was stable and dealing, but it came out rushed and anxious and cringed when he looked into her eyes sharply. She cleared her throat and cast her eyes over his shoulder to the trees and tried not to cry. Her eyes only watered more when she heard a broken voice, whispering her name.

"Carter." She looked back into his eyes in surprise and sucked in a breath when she saw her pain mirrored on his face. They'd been fooling themselves, trying to have a normal conversation. Sam couldn't tear her eyes from his and she was suddenly back in that room, hearing him admit that he cared for her. Her heart had felt like it split in two when he had uttered those words, so softly she wasn't sure she had heard right until she's opened her eyes and everything she was seeing now was there. Pain, regret, passion, need.

Sam pulled herself back and with a shuddered gasp, threw herself up off the log and paced to the edge of the camp, begging her tears not to fall. She couldn't handle his eyes, filled with love and devotion, not when she couldn't do a damn thing about it. She sobbed in equal parts relief and fear when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, unable to resist when said hand pulled lightly and she was spun around to face him. Jack stood before her, silently, and used the tip of one finger to tilt her chin up. As their eyes met, her tears spilled over and he spoke her name again, but this time, it wasn't 'Carter' that escaped his lips.

"Samantha." She watched, fascinated as his mouth formed the three syllables, so softly she wasn't certain she heard it. But when he continued to speak, she knew she wasn't imagining things.

"Sam. I wish…" he was struggling with his words, she could tell, but she hadn't a clue what to say. She saw him swallow thickly, and she gasped when he stepped just a bit closer, the hand on her chin sliding up to her face, his other hand mirroring it on the other side. She closed her eyes when she felt his warm, calloused skin on hers. Those hands had killed, saved, comforted, played…she couldn't imagine all that they had done. She sighed in delight when his thumbs moved over her cheeks, lightly brushing her tears away. She opened her eyes again and finally responded, just as softly.

"I know, I know. I wish it too…but we can't." Sam was glad her choked words made him smile, even if there was sadness behind it. Her hands came up to capture his forearms. She squeezed lightly, praying he understood that they were feeling the same things, and trying to communicate that it was too much for her, in that moment. He seemed to understand her hesitancy and fear, but she watched his eyes hold hers with a determination that she was unfamiliar with. Jack slowly leaned his head toward hers until their foreheads were resting together and looked into her eyes with every emotion visible. When he spoke again, his voice was clear, but still soft and sad.

"You know I want more than this." It was a statement, but she knew he needed to know that she understood, and she heard the question behind the words.

"I do know…I want…but…I mean, well…we just…this is a bad idea " She closed her eyes in regret. She couldn't even tell him she wanted it too. She was scared out of her mind, yet shivering in delight at his touch. She didn't know if she could handle much more of Jack's honesty. Her heart was pounding and her breath was coming on sharp gasps with every stroke of his thumbs across her cheeks. She bravely opened her eyes again, just to see Jack closing his own, and Sam felt his entire body move with the deep, slow breath he took and she froze with his next words.

"I'm in love with you." He had opened those pools of chocolate to gaze at her again, and her knees went weak. Sam never thought she would hear him say it, and half believed that she was dreaming, but he pulled his head back and gently swept one arm around her back and pulled her toward his body. When she was flush against him, he said it again.

"I love you Sam." She couldn't not believe him, not when it was pouring out of his eyes, his hands, his very being. He radiated with it and she felt it coursing through her, the pain of not being with him overwhelmed by the joy she felt with his words. It did not, however, overwhelm her fear. Sam knew she could get desperately lost in this man, and she was petrified of letting herself. Jack looked patiently into her eyes and even though a part of her wanted so much to say the words and show him exactly how she felt, something inside her was screaming to run in the opposite direction. Jack seemed to know what was going through her mind and he once again leaned his head against hers and spoke softly and with more emotion than she had ever heard come from his mouth.

"Sam, you don't have to fear this. I would never hurt you. You know that, don't you?" Sam gasped when he accurately described her fears, something she hadn't even been able to do. She trembled in his arms and tried to speak.

"I…ahh…oh god…I can't do this…I mean…I thought..didn't we agree to leave this in that room?" She hesitantly searched his eyes, praying he would understand that she couldn't deal with this right now. She frowned in confusion when he simply pulled up his head again and smiled gently at her. At her expression, he explained.

"Sam, I think…this…thing…has been discussed everywhere BUT that room." He chuckled as he finished, but when she widened her eyes at him, realizing he meant others had discussed it as well, his eyes lost some of their sparkle and he backed away slightly, his hands lingering on her arms.

"Oh, unless you don't…want this?" Sam's heart broke as she watched him assume that she was hesitating because she didn't want him. She was still terrified, but she couldn't cause Jack more pain that she already had.

"No…it's not that. I just…I don't know if I can do this Jack." She shrugged helplessly at him, but smiled when he grinned at her use of his name. His smile dropped as he gazed at her and she felt like she owed him more of an explanation, but had no idea how to express her feelings when she didn't even fully understand them. She placed a shaking hand on his chest, and sighed deeply.

"I do feel the same way Jack." Sam huffed in exasperation when tears fell from her eyes and choked back a sob. "I just…I'm not…I can't give you more yet. I'm sorry." Her apology came out so quietly, Jack leaned closer to her to hear and she sucked in a breath when she looked up and his face was so close to hers. Jack's eyes pierced hers with pained longing and she wanted to crumple into a ball for putting it there. She was shocked at his next actions and was unable to fight them. He moved closer and just before his lips met hers, she heard him whisper.

"Then please forgive me."

Every nerve in Sam's body felt like it was on fire. She stood in stunned disbelief as Jack O'Neill kissed her passionately and lovingly. She wanted to struggle, but as the kiss continued and his lips formed perfectly to hers, her desire won, and she sank into him bonelessly. Just as Sam made the decision to enjoy the kiss, Jack pulled away and faced her with shock on his face. He looked as surprised as she felt and Sam knew he hadn't intended to kiss her. She watched as he scrubbed a hand through his hair and turned away. She almost missed his muttered words.

"I'm so sorry. So Sorry."

As Sam stood in mute shock, she watched as Jack recklessly threw the rest of their supplies into a pack and angrily kicked more dirt over their fire ring. As she became more aware, she caught him talking disjointedly, muttering about a court martial and General Hammond. She realized that he was angry at himself for kissing her and she knew she had to do something. She approached cautiously and placed a hand on his arm.

"Sir….Jack?" She went back to his name when his title made him wince. But he turned to face her and she saw a spark of hope in the depths of his eyes.

"Jack, you don't have to apologize…it was…good…really good. You just…well…you startled me." She smiled lightly, hoping he would see that she did care. She sighed in relief when his shoulders dropped and he let out a deep breath. He looked into her eyes and she tried to explain again.

"I do…have…feelings for you. I just…I really NEED us to leave it in that room. For now." She closed her eyes and choked on her own words as sobs began to build in her chest. She wished she had the strength to give him what they both wanted. She didn't though, and was afraid that she had ruined everything. She began to form a transfer request to General Hammond in her mind and imagine her life without SG-1 when she heard Jack's voice, quiet but strong and assured.

"I can do that." Her head snapped back up to his and when clue eyes met brown, she knew he was telling the truth. Sam smiled at him in thanks when he nodded his promise to keep it in the room for now.

"So…we should…NOT do…that… again." He gestured between them and she nodded.

"Yeah. Probably wouldn't help." Sam looked over at him and saw the same love and devotion, but knew that it needed to be pushed away. As Daniel and Teal'c entered the clearing, Jack put a hand on her arm and softly spoke once more.

"We're good, right?" He cast hopeful eyes on her and she smiled, the pain of loving him easier to bear now that they had acknowledged it. She let that show in her eyes as she answered.

"Yeah. We're good."

With lighter hearts, they finished packing up their supplies and turned to their teammates as Daniel and Teal'c approached. Sam tried to shake off the last of her nerves and was able to chuckle when the approaching conversation became clear. Daniel was still annoyed about Jack labeling him as Milhouse. He had apparently brought Teal'c into the fold. She rolled her eyes as Daniel immediately spoke to Jack upon stopping in the clearing.

"Jack, if I'm Milhouse, who are you? Teal'c refuses to be any character. He thinks he should play himself." Daniel looked expectantly at the Colonel and Sam chuckled again, wondering why Daniel was even asking. Of course the Colonel was Homer. She bit back a grin when his answer confirmed it.

"Daniel, you should know that I would be Homer of course. Donuts, beer…really Space Monkey, put on your thinking cap." Colonel O'Neill shook his head in resignation as Daniel sputtered a response, but gave up and simply asked another question.

"Okaaay, Homer. Then if I'm Milhouse and Teal'c is…himself" he rolled his eyes at this "then WHO, is Sam?" Before the Colonel could answer or Sam could object, Teal'c spoke up.

"Daniel Jackson, is it not obvious? Major Carter is a combination of Marge Simpson and young Lisa Simpson." Sam raised her eyebrows at Teal'c and he merely nodded his head in respect to her. She heard Daniel snort and the Colonel chuckle, but even after their heated kiss and conversation just moments before, she was unprepared for his answer. She watched as the Colonel patted Teal'c's shoulder as he began walking away.

"T, buddy, you got it in one. Hot as hell, and frighteningly brilliant."

Colonel O'Neill sauntered off and Teal'c followed. Daniel simply gaped after him and turned curious eyes on Sam. As she came out of what felt like a drunken stupor, not sure if the last ten minutes had really happened, she just shrugged at the question she knew was forming in Daniel's mind and walked off after the others.

Sam heard Daniel grumbling as he followed behind her and she smiled. Daniel hated being left out of the loop, and she was tempted to let him in on what had happened, but as she remembered Jack's whispered words and the delicious kiss they'd shared, she decided she wanted to keep it to herself. Sam still felt irrationally afraid of letting herself love that complex, frustrating man, but with his words came the hope that she would soon be ready to give him the same words he'd spoken to her. And if she replayed that kiss in slow motion in her mind, several times, on their way to the gate, well…she wasn't going to feel bad about it.

THE END!

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